dear single women over 25...

**jones** · August 5th, 2003, 05:36 PM

A couple of weeks ago I had a woman tell me to my face that she couldn't be with a man who has a kid (for those who don't know, I have a 2-year-old) because she had to know that she was the most important person in his life. This woman is 29, and believe it or not, she is absolutely bewildered as to why she is still single (never been married, never been close).

The funny part is that I can at least appreciate her directness. There were a couple others who loved it that I had a steady job, loved it even more that I owned my own home, and then couldn't get away fast enough when I told them about Oakley. And neither of them had the slightest idea why they couldn't find a man who was interested in them for more than a couple of months.

Popular wisdom tells us that men are primarily interested in sex. If you're talking about the short-term, that's absolutely correct. I don't know any men who would pass up a good (even a not-so-good) sexual relationship that lasts a month, a week, a day, or an hour (okay, even two minutes is fine with most of us -- I'll concede that point). But contrary to what most women I've been out with seem to think, it takes more than putting out to sustain a relationship. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true.

Newsflash for single women over 25: Oakley has a mother, and I haven't met a single one of you that I would feel right about even allowing you to meet him. I don't care how hot you are (or think you are). I don't care how bright and intelligent you are. If you can't handle taking a back seat every now and then so that I can attend to the needs of a 2-year-old, you've got a lot of growing up to do. If you're looking for a guy who suits your needs, try the county lock-up.

Sorry for the rant. Dating sucks, y'know? And I haven't even mentioned all the self-loathing basket cases, unabashed flakes, and outright gold diggers. Believe it or not, I once knew a woman who was amazed that I wouldn't buy her a gift before the first date! Wait, it gets even better! I met this one over the internet, so before our first date (which, obviously, never happened) we'd never met in person or even spoken on the phone.

take care

---jones()

**crazy a** · August 5th, 2003, 05:57 PM

Bravo to you for giving the rare view of the single dad.

And try dating outside of Ohio. [img]wink.gif[/img]

**Branflakes** · August 5th, 2003, 06:09 PM

Wow, I can't believe there are that many immature women out there. Who the hell thinks they should be more important than someone's 2yr old child? [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

Luckily for you, jones, you're smart enough to avoid those women. They're giving straight girls a bad name...

But, um, it was hilarious, so feel free to let us know any more funny ones (a gift before the first date? helllloooo, idiot). [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

And good luck on finding someone new. It will happen. As soon as you follow crazy's advice and step outside of Ohio. [img]wink.gif[/img]

We should turn this into a "Worst Dates" thread...

**JaceSan** · August 5th, 2003, 08:43 PM

The worst dates are the ones where they file a restraining order afterwards.

...or the ones where you wake up the next morning wondering, "Where the f%#k am I?"

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 06, 2003 07:22 AM: Message edited by: JaceSan ]</font>

**AsIs** · August 5th, 2003, 09:14 PM

jones, I generally like the kids better than the date! [img]wink.gif[/img]

Seriously, I have always felt kids should come first, in everything.

Good luck bud.

**RichC** · August 5th, 2003, 10:17 PM

Man, and I was just considering getting back into the dating pool.

Screw that crap.

**JaceSan** · August 5th, 2003, 10:41 PM

Oh, jump back in. The water's fine.

I've dated women with kids and always kept in mind that the children come first. Regardless of where things go there is always that little person to think about. Like AsIs mentioned though, I usually end up liking the kid(s) more than the mother. The kid(s) are usually more stable, and infinitely more fun.

jones, you should probably stick to dating strippers.

J/K There are plenty of single mothers who understand that dating takes a back seat to child rearing.